We are in a very trying time as the Coronavirus continues to spread around the world. It has disrupted our daily lives and put everyone into a state of chaos and fear. Mass panic has forced millions of shoppers to swarm into stores hoarding products, most especially toilet papers. Host, Gerry Foster, reflects on the hysteria caused by the Pandemic and calls on toilet paper companies to do their bidding.
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Searching For Toilet Paper!
I normally don’t share the date when I do this but I feel I must go on record. It is Sunday, March 22nd, 2020. I’m sharing that because this is very much a scary, nerve-wracking and confusing time we’re all experiencing as the coronavirus spreads around the world. Everyone knows what we’re dealing with. Our daily lives are being disrupted, financial markets are going crazy. People are dying. People are being quarantined. There’s price gouging going on of medical supplies to help fight the coronavirus such as the price of surgical gowns and respirators. We’ve got doctors and nurses on the frontline running out of masks, eye protection and gloves at work as they cope with a shortage of personal protective equipment.
The stress, the worry, the concerns, frustrations, and doubt as we approach overloading the healthcare system. Fears are mounting. The great uncertainty and changes of this time seem to be happening minute by minute, hour by hour. It’s driving us nuts. It’s a national and international crisis that’s truly unreal. By no means am I going to make light of COVID-19 as states and countries around the world confront the rapid spread of this virus? To say that we are dealing with a serious, dangerous situation and a uniquely challenging time is an understatement, to say the least. While I want to believe that many, if not all of us as part of the human family are seeking strength, inner peace, resilience, guidance, wisdom, and compassion for others, what’s crazy during this pandemic is the mass panic.
I’m talking about millions of shoppers who are swarming into grocery stores and hoarding products, mainly toilet paper. There are millions of consumers across the globe stockpiling and panic buying toilet paper. Here in America, for instance, supermarkets, drug stores, big-box chain stores like Costco and other grocery stores across the country where paper goods are sold, whereby the way customers in many spots have to wait in line to get into these doors. We see entire ransacked paper goods aisles wiped clean of toilet paper. It’s not just toilet paper. It’s other products with this proceed perishability and scarcity amid the coronavirus outbreak and fears that seem to escalate to alarming heights daily. It’s like a zombie attack. I would not consider hoarding and I certainly would not consider stockpiling toilet paper to be part of a bigger plan to navigate and overcome the coronavirus upheaval.
That does not make sense to me. We’ve got folks clearing shelves not just of toilet paper but canned goods, frozen foods, hand sanitizer and lots of other stuff instead of only buying what they need for a few days. If this continues, we may even see toilet paper bartered or traded and sold on the black market. I realize what many people believe is the most important room in the house, the bathroom, although some of you may argue is the bedroom, should always be stocked or you may find yourself in a bind. I get that, but people are hoarding for the sake of hoarding. It’s part of the chaos and insanity that continues to unfold and unravel, excuse the pun. I’ve got to admit, the Branding Evangelist is coming clean. I’m about to lay it on you. I’ve gotten caught up in this mass hysteria myself. Let me share a story with you. I was checking out of my hotel in Orlando, Florida, and I took a roll of toilet paper that was in the bathroom and packed it in my suitcase.
Searching For Toilet Paper: Fears are mounting. The great uncertainty and changes of this time seem to be happening minute by minute, hour by hour.
I said to myself, “I can’t take any chances. I better take two rolls.” I opened the door to my hotel room, walked down the hallway, saw a housekeeper, and asked her if I could have another roll. She gave it to me. I was ecstatic and then I thought to myself, “This is great.” After all, I must be prepared. There may not be any toilet paper at all in Los Angeles when I get home. That’s when I suddenly realized I’m going crazy like anybody else. When I returned to my room, I sat on the bed and I said, “Who cares?” I probably looked at my roll of toilet paper that I had confiscated. I had patted myself on the back. As I’m looking at this roll, I noticed something. There was no brand name per se. There were no fancy graphic images. There was no logo. All it said on a roll of toilet paper was Soft Touch Elite. That was it. That didn’t matter to me because now I had some toilet paper. I started thinking, “After all these years, I’ve always bought a branded toilet paper.”
Most times, it’s been Charmin ultra-soft two-ply with the infamous brand promise of irresistible softness, or sometimes it’s been Cottonelle Clean Care strong bath tissue, two-ply for a cleaner butt or whatever else needs to be cleaned. Other times it’s been Angel Soft with a fresh lavender-scented tube. “The scent is on the tube,” it says, and you’ve got a variety of scents and they’ve got a variety of scents within the tube. I say, “I can now enjoy the soothing aroma of fresh lavender every trip to the bathroom.” If that’s important to someone, who wouldn’t want that? However, I’m a little skeptical because I’m thinking like a man, do you mean to tell me that that the scented tube can make my butt smell good? I thought I bought the Angel Soft brand. The Angel Soft brand says I can discover the softness, strength, and value I love and that it’s now thicker should I want the thickest toilet paper ever.
They now boldly, proudly proclaim a tagline, “Be soft, be strong.” After it was all said and done, I realized that I have much to choose from. I realized that over all these years, I’ve been in toilet paper heaven. I can have soft toilet paper, great smelling toilet paper or thick toilet paper. Who wouldn’t want that? No wonder people are going crazy. Toilet paper is a big deal. Our butts are at stake here. For all your major brands out there of toilet paper and all the other ones that I haven’t mentioned, please, I beg of you. Send trucks of toilet paper out to stores nationwide around the clock, so we can regain our sanity. We must have our toilet paper. As far as my unbranded roll of Soft Touch Elite toilet paper, which I still have, that I took from the hotel, one has been used. I’ve got one left. I had to admit, it did the job and my butt didn’t seem to care. From what I can tell, my booty came out fine. Until next time, take care.
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